Sunday, May 25, 2014

"I survived...;" beyond and back full circle


"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." Thee Goddess Herself, Marilyn Monroe

You claimed a choice without genuine intentions
You judge my reflection without looking at your own
You expect from me without giving back the same
You want the whole* without all the parts**
You want the dividend without the investment
You want to start a new life without leaving the old
You want the happy ending without reading every page
You want to be in the light without working through the dark
You want to be with me without giving up what you maintain that makes my heart bleed
You want happiness without effort

You have always been the same.  
I have survived this turmoil to come around full-circle.
Here we are, at the beginning all over again.
Perhaps I shall learn my lesson.


*Whole: New life with a happy ending

**Parts: Emotional Investment, Genuine Respect, Compromise and it's sister, Sacrifice, Honesty, Communication, Dependability, Kind Understanding, Selflessness, Self-initiated Compassion/Concern, Verbal and Non-verbal Support, Acknowledgement of Relationship's Priority.

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Friday, May 9, 2014

Hey, you! Have a nice day...


Hello, my favorites!  It's been a while since I've posted a fresh blog with all the fun I've been having with my youtube versions of my posts.  Thank you, to the very talented and selfless Jason Roberston.  Plus, I just had someone egging me on to post something diabolical (to remain nameless to protect the innocent....James Libby...oops!).  Perhaps this isn't exactly diabolical, or even remotely edgy...KIDDING!  Here goes:

So, I've had this friend for about 20 years who recently accused me of being immature for sending her positive information about a loved one of mine via text message.  She didn't say I was immature because I sent the information in a text, just so you don't get confused, iseek.  She said I was immature for the content of the text.  I would quote it, but then I couldn't be elusive enough to deny this blog is about her.  Lol!  Like I care!  No, I won't quote it because the person I was referring to is too private, and my stalkers in Minot ND would be privy to information they don't deserve to know.  Cunt bitches!  Yeah, you!

Anway, I'm trying to reconcile how in the world this long-time, dear friend went from adoring me, partying with me, supporting me, encouraging me, and giving me her loyalty to claiming my sincere words of hope regarding the afore mentioned loved one were immature.  She even went so far as to claim the attempt to improve and be happy on his part would only "hurt (my) kids."  She said that twice during our brief, yet intense, text string. 

I was stunned, shocked, and taken off guard, which, trust me, NEVER happens to me.  And by NEVER, I mean two or three times, but they don't count.  Truly, I would never have expected that response from anyone I would choose to share that information with, let alone her.  After obsessing over it for about a week and a half, I've concluded that my vindictive behavior towards very specific, deserving, hateful people who will likely go to hell for feeding the animals has created a skepticism in others towards my sincerity.  I certainly have taken advantage of my Jedi Master skills, but, people, I am not one dimensional!  If the targets I've chosen are people you respect, and if the things I've done to them angers you...well, I hate to say it, but that makes you a horrible judge of character and not someone I would want to know anymore, anyway. 

I am not unjust.  You know me.  You've known me longer than most people in my life.  You know my level of ethics.  You know my values and my soul.  Think.  Think!  Would I ever, EVER do those things to anyone who didn't deserve it?  You need to be more calculating when jumping to conclusions about this entire affair.  The core of my spirit, who I AM, hasn't changed.  Come on!  You must realize there is misinformation and lies in your equation.  The result of your belief that what I said was immature and that the possible end result would hurt my children is absurd!  If you really, truly think about it, you know that's true.  You know me. 

Get right.  Get real.  Get bent.