"Like I give a shit what you think asshole face." - Andrew Dice Clay
If I only had a dick, I'd already have a solid career with great pay and an established retirement fund.
If I only had a dick, my two bachelor degrees and magna cum laude status would have been sufficient to land me respect and an amazing job being a complete fucking asshole prick to my underlings.
Instead, I have a vagina. That means, my two college degrees are only good enough to get me secretarial positions where I sit and look pretty and answer the phone and mind my own fucking business because no one wants the opinion from my vagina having bitch self. That also means that I was the one chosen (by chosen I mean, the tyrant of the house informed me) to be a stay at home mom; therefore, foregoing what career I did have established and taking myself out of the job market for 3 horrific, miserable, just-shoot-me-in-the-face-cuz-I-can't-stand-my-kids-24/7 years.
Now here I sit realizing I have no financial security for my so-called "golden years." By that, they mean the years you shit yourself and let underpaid, overworked, drug-addicted underlings abuse and neglect you. Sounds golden! (If you are a nurse, I'm not referring to you. I'm referring to the other pieces of turd you work with.)
If I only had a dick, I wouldn't be so unbelievably stressed out about how I will care for the life-sucking mooches that are my children in the years to come. If I only had a dick....
I keep hearing about these amazing wages men in ND are getting paid in attempt to compete with the oil field. Apparently, if I had a dick, I would be getting paid almost twice my current wage. Because, if they didn't pay me more, I could just leave for the oil field. That's the mentality, and that's what I keep being told. We "have" to pay them that or they'll just leave for the oil field. What about me?!
If I only had a dick, I could afford to live here without worrying about depending on my ex for child support to care for my children. If I only had a dick, I could afford a nice house with a yard, where I could plant flowers, put a swing set, and watch my children grow happily. If I only had a dick, I could blackmail my employer into paying me more.
If I only had a dick...
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