Unconditional Lovelessness

"You've been a disappointment to me your whole life." - Ron LaCount to his own son

               Ron is a selfish, ego driven, attention seeking, narcissistic individual who finds pleasure in causing suffering in his children.  He used incessant insults, criticisms, and sarcasm to communicate his rejection of his son.  He blamed Dan when he failed to conform to the idea of him Ron created.  He brainwashed Dan into believing he was unworthy of love and affection.  He instilled shame in his son through constant displays of disappointment and rejection.  He created an atmosphere of fear that his son would be punished if he disappointed him.  He orchestrated deliberate tactics to prolong and reinforce emotional suffering and feelings of inferiority in Dan. 

                When Dan displayed the behaviors typical of an abused child, Ron displayed disgust knowing he caused these behaviors with his deliberate and sadistic abuse.  He caused his son to become an adult with low self-esteem, anti-social behavior, and a negative perception of the world.  His abuse caused Dan to have difficulties forming relationships and created a self-destructive aptitude in him.  Ron’s abuse caused his son to be prone to addictions.

                Ron’s intentional destruction of Dan’s sense of self worth made him a hostile man who lacked the ability to empathize with others.  Ron orchestrated the removal of his son as a partner in his company for becoming the product of his abuse.

                Dan poured his life into that company.  But Ron’s low opinion of him and his vocal and obvious disapproval of him spread within the company like a virus.  Soon, nobody found Dan to be credible, and nothing he ever recommended was taken seriously.  He was stripped of his confidence and was never seen as a decision maker or treated like the partner and owner he was.  He lost his passion and was defeated by the disregard of his father and the unspoken support Ron gave to the rest of the staff to treat him like a nobody whose opinion didn’t matter.

                Believing that you must live up to an expectation to be perfect leads you to believe you deserve to be rejected and ashamed, and that others are justified in their disappointment in you.  Shame is the most powerful master emotion – it is the fear that we are not good enough.  The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.